Alice Cooper Was Wrong

One of my favourite songs is Alice Cooper’s “Lost in America” which I’ve loved ever since I caught it late one night on an episode of Beavis and Butthead, it's a hilarious example of 80s rock cheese - the lyrics for the first verse are:

I can't get a girl, 'cause I ain't got a car
I can't get a car, 'cause I ain't got a job
I can't get a job, 'cause I ain't got a car
So I'm looking for a girl with a job and a car

But, as much as I love it, I feel it’s too much of a simplification, life is more complex than that. Perhaps Alice’s lyrics should have been something along the lines of:

I can't get a girl, 'cause I ain't got a car
I can't get a car, 'cause I ain't got a job
I can't get a job, 'cause I ain't got a car,
So I've decided to go and stay with a friend and sleep their floor for a while which will allow me to do some work experience at the company just down the road. if i work hard and put the hours in for them they might give me a job or at the very least a good reference - I reckon that within 6-12 weeks I can be in a good job with prospects and within six months I’ll have a half-decent car. Then I just need to work on finding a nice girlfriend.

Admittedly that doesn’t scan quite as well.